Life in South Korea

Before leaving for South Korea, I did my research. Tons of it. Looking into how others experienced the move, finding tips and tricks on how to adjust easily to the new way of life. I took notes, watched videos and when I arrived here I did my best to put that all into practice. But, that all went out the window the moment I stepped out of quarantine – when the reality hits you that, to be frank, you just need to do the damn thing and experience it all for yourself.

After four months now in South Korea, adapting to the lifestyle here has been an eye-opening, overwhelming and surreal experience all in one. To summarize these experiences, here are 5 things that I have learnt while living here, big and small:

1. Language barrier

I’ve always labelled myself an independent person. I love the certainty in being alone. That sense of comfort and power in knowing that I can rely on myself fully, at any time of the day. The possibility of exploring a whole new city halfway across the world by myself never really scared me because I felt equip to deal with the ‘comfortable’ and ’empowering’ independent life ahead of me. But, what is independence to someone that has grown up in their native speaking (for me: English) environment? Answer: Completely different.

To put this into perspective, imagine you are in your home country (assuming that is a place where the community around you speaks the same language as you). You decide to go for a walk, maybe even grab a coffee on the way. So you leave your house, walk down the street, look at the shops, hear the hustle and bustle of the traffic and walk past plenty of others also out on a walk, or on their way to work, maybe walking the dog. You get to the coffee shop and order your favorite coffee/tea/smoothie and take a seat. Maybe you’re like me and you just like to sit and observe people – the way they interact with their kids, the way they interact with their partner, brother, sister etc. Then you leave and take a slow stroll back home. Pretty normal, right? A simple day out. By definition, you were alone. But, were you really? Alone? I mean, you understood the shop names as you walked past, right? The road signs? You heard people talking on the streets? You ordered your coffee with the lovely waitress, maybe chatted for a bit and you sat at the coffee shop hearing the people around you talking about their days? You engaged with your environment around you. You engaged with everything when you left your front door.

For that short 30 minute walk, you had the chance to let your surroundings contribute to your thoughts.

What would happen if you didn’t know the shop names? Or the road signs? Or if you never knew what people spoke about on the streets or in the coffee shop? Or if you never had that interaction with the waitress?

What happens is, you start to realize that being alone is subtly softened by the environment we put ourselves in. And that environment is brightened by the ability to engage with language all around us. When you lose the ability to engage through language, feeling alone becomes more real.

Now, I’m not saying it’s impossible to engage with my environment the moment I leave my apartment here in South Korea – and maybe some people thrive off this form of isolation, or do not feel the feelings I have been feeling. All I’m trying to say is for me, the language barrier played a much bigger role in my everyday life than I thought. I thought it would just be one big logistical challenge – starting a bank account, going to the shops (which, might I add is of course a challenge), but I did not think my day to day life would be so largely impacted by something like language.

“Just learn the language, Jena” – I often get told this. For someone who struggles with new languages, I feel my few lessons in Korean have been a massive step for me. Do I think the lessons have helped? Kind of, not really. I guess I have accepted that these feelings are simply inevitable for the first few months – until you create a new definition of normal.

In the meantime though, I do think this experience with language will teach me a whole lot about myself that I did not know. And, well, that’s why I’m here.

2. Ease of transport

Coming from South Africa, I have never really known the true efficiency of public transport. But after coming here, I’m not sure I will ever get used to life without it. To be fair, I think I went from 0 to 100 real quick when coming to South Korea, as they are known to be one of the best in the world for public transport. Being one of the best in the world comes at a cost though… it’s damn confusing. The amount of times I have taken the wrong bus/train? Countless. Being solely reliant on an app to help me navigate has also presented it’s challenges because you cannot just turn to the person next to you and ask for help. I mean, just this morning the bus driver didn’t stop at my stop and to save the disaster that would be me expressing I needed to get off, in my very English ways, I just accepted my fate and got off at the next stop.

Although, once you get used to it, as with anything, it becomes less complicated and incredibly convenient. 10/10 would recommend.

3. What you wear

Now, if you take one quick glance at my Instagram, you can see that this girl loves her swimming costumes. It has almost become a part of my wardrobe. Growing up in a coastal city and also living in South Africa, where someone is bound to have a swimming pool in their back garden, I always like to be prepared for a little swim. I also love a good crop top or body-suit when I go out for a night out – fashun. What I wore was never really my primary concern when leaving the house back at home, I more so wore what felt comfortable and that was that.

This mentality will not cut it in South Korea.

The general rule here is that, you can show as much leg as you want but stay covered on the top. Shoulders, collar bones, cleavage… Sometimes when I feel bold, I try wear a t-shirt WITHOUT a jacket on the train *gasps*, and it straight up feels like a crime – police, where you at. Just take me now, it’s okay.

With that said, I think this conservative dress code is more prevalent in the cities outside of Seoul and Busan. After spending a week or so in the middle of Seoul, after I arrived here in July, I saw every style under the sun! Korean street style is definitely a sight to see – a fascinating contrast to the conservative majority.

4. There is no need to tip in restaurants

This one took a while to adjust to. Briefly working as a waitress in South Africa, I realized quickly how important tipping is in the restaurant industry. Coming here I had the same mentality. Good service needs to be appreciated and with the outstanding service I’ve received here, I’ve really found myself consciously having to remove the thought of adding a bit extra onto the bill.

I guess the reason of not tipping in South Korea is largely rooted in the thinking that good service should always be provided and it does not need to be ‘rewarded’. With the incredible work ethic I have observed in South Korea, this definitely makes sense. But, please let me tip you? Lol.

5. Cost of living

Living in South Korea, especially the Seoul area, is not cheap. I guess this is relative though. Converting how much I spend back to Rands (South African currency) is often a thought that makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. But, Lesson #1 when living here: Do NOT CONVERT. I still do it pretty much all the time, but I try not let it discourage me when I make purchases. I think the biggest shocks I’ve had is when buying milk and fruit/vegetables. I can easily pay triple what I pay in South Africa for these products.

Eating out is also such an expensive little adventure. Couple that with going out for drink afterwards… that’s one way to go broke.

Although, with all this said, being an English teacher allows for you to enjoy life here and save on the side. How much you earn is definitely proportionate to the standard of living.

So there it is, my top 5 things. I think everyone has a different experience though and my top 5 could be vastly different from another’s Top 5.

But, at the end of the day, no matter how many apps you download or how many videos you watch, you are going to take the wrong bus. You will stand in the metro, staring at twenty different signs in Hangul and wonder how you will ever get to where you need to be. No matter how much research you do on being a foreigner here, you’re still going to feel like one. No matter how many videos you watch or stories you read about others experiencing the full spectrum of emotions while living here, you’re still going to feel the full spectrum of emotions while living here. Nothing really prepares you for the big move – except, well, living through it.

I do not think any of the above factors are unique to South Korea though, I feel that whenever you move to a new country you’ll always experience uncomfortable change. But hell, you grow so much through all of it. It helps you prove to yourself that you can truly make it through anything.