After some time away from blogging, recent developments have pulled me back, urging me to write again. Sitting on a couch in Alkmaar, Netherlands, next to a cat named Charcoal (whom I named, of course) – I find myself reflecting on where life has taken me, and I feel compelled to sit down and write about some of the whirling thoughts that tend to inhibit my mind.

I only count a country as truly visited if I’ve spent at least two nights there – long enough to absorb the rhythm of a place beyond just passing through. By that measure, the Netherlands is now my eighth country, joining Mauritius, Hungary, South Korea, Spain, Indonesia, Namibia and Canada. A growing list I never take for granted.

Before I left, my therapist asked, “What are you most excited for?” – I imagined myself with a coffee by the canals, or chatting with a stranger on a train, but rather, I uttered: “That feeling. The feeling of stepping into somewhere new for the first time. Every place has its own colors, sounds, emotions, tastes. I can’t wait to unlock that space within me.”

I tend to see life beginning as a blank canvas, and each new experience is a brushstroke of consciousness we didn’t know existed, filling spaces we never even knew were empty. Filling us up, one experience at a time.

Experience. Isn’t that such an interesting word, it evokes neither a good nor bad feeling. It simply just… is.

This concept is something I have, as of late, sworn by. Seeing each day of our lives as simply an experience. Recently, a friend of mine so beautifully reminded me of a message that can be translated into a tale that goes something like this:

A traveler missed his boat. Bad.
But then, he learned the boat sank in a storm. Good.
However, now he was stranded with no way home. Bad.
Then, while waiting, he met a merchant who offered him a job that changed his life. Good.

Each event, isolated, could be labeled good or bad. But when you zoom out, it’s all just, I suppose – life unfolding.

We’re often too quick to label moments as good or bad. But when we shift our perspective, the magic happens. I try to steer clear of cliché life lessons in my blogs, but travel has a way of proving them true. So let me share the real, unfiltered truths of my journey – because despite what social media suggests, every trip holds its own messy, wonderful reality.

South Korea (July, 2021 – 2022)

The one with the Tattoo

This idea of reframing experiences has shaped so many of my travels – sometimes without me even realizing it. Looking back, one trip stands out as the perfect example. I’ve blogged a lot about my time in South Korea, but what I haven’t shared is the story behind my one and only tattoo.

Toward the end of my trip – and in the months that followed – I experienced some of the lowest lows of my life. Anxiety consumed me. I found myself caught in a loop of ‘the blame game’, retelling the story of South Korea as a ‘bad’ experience. But deep down, I knew that framing it this way was holding me back. Each time I thought of South Korea, that overwhelming emotion returned, clouding everything else. I didn’t want that. I wanted to remember the full truth – not just the struggle, but the depth, the transformation, the experience as a whole.

So I chose to reclaim that time in the most permanent way I could – I got a tattoo. Inked onto my arm are the words that translate to ‘Day by Day’. A philosophy that helps conquer the anxiety, in the language of the country I felt caused it. The irony is potent, but pretty damn powerful.

I guess it could also serve as a reminder that each morning and night, I have the power to reframe my experiences. That just as travel unfolds in highs and lows, so does life. And in the moments when anxiety creeps in, I look down, read the words, and let my nervous system reset. A cycle – just like travel itself. This small act of reframing – of seeing travel (and life) as neither good nor bad, but as an unfolding experience – has changed everything for me.

And that’s a lesson I carry with me, no matter where I go.

Indonesia (October, 2023)

The one with the lost scooter key

Armed with my tattoo and my newfound perspective, I figured I was ready to approach travel differently. And naturally, like any human exposed to pop culture, I had some expectations about what Bali would be like. So, as inevitable as the tide, I assumed the second my anxiety-ridden body touched Balinese soil, I’d be healed. Instantly.

Spoiler: that’s not how it works.

I think this naturally leads me to my next point. As much as I now, with my immensely profound, self-designated tattoo superpowers, wanted to avoid labelling anything a ‘bad’, I hadn’t realized the other half of the equation – I needed to stop chasing the ‘good’.

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” – Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

So, in the spirit of radical honesty or better yet, Naked Truths: Bali Edition (an It Ends With Us reference – if you don’t get it, be better), here’s what I expected to happen:

1. Find myself and return home fully healed and transformed.
2. Fall in love, stroll along the beach at sunset, coconut in hand (optional, but highly encouraged).
3. Travel endlessly and gather a group of lifelong friends.
4. Achieve a sun-kissed glow.

Do you want to hear what really happened?

1. Had a panic attack a week before leaving and flew home early.
2. Endured some cringe-worthy dates that only intensified my relationship trauma. One even ended with me losing my scooter key in the sand, forcing Mr. Not-So-Dreamy to give me a ride back to town for a replacement key.
3. Stayed in 12 different places over 40 days, leaving me burnt out and lonelier than expected.
4. Okay, yes – I did get tanned. Small victories, right?

Bali didn’t transform me. It didn’t magically erase my anxiety or hand me some grand life revelation. But maybe that was the real lesson – travel isn’t about escaping yourself or chasing a perfect experience. Sometimes, the best thing you get out of a trip is a tan and a new perspective. And maybe, just maybe. That’s enough.

Canada (August, 2024)

The one with the missed flight

A conference trip to Canada. Another chance to experience travel – this time, a little differently.

This was a very unique one for me, as I wouldn’t be alone, well, not the whole time. The first few days of my trip would be spent with my fellow UCT (University of Cape Town) friends and also a whole bunch of rock lovers talking about the world of diamonds in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.

One of the biggest moments of the trip happened before I even arrived. Day one. My connecting flight in London was delayed just long enough to throw everything off course. By the time I landed in Vancouver, my flight to Yellowknife – the one that would get me to my first-ever conference presentation – was long gone. The exhaustion hit me first. Then the disappointment. Then the tears. I stood there, staring at the departures board, stomach sinking. I had worked so hard for this moment, and now it felt like it was slipping away.

But here’s what surprised me the most – I just… accepted it. Not without tears. Not without frantic phone calls to whoever would listen. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t the end. It wasn’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’, just an occurrence and might I say, an experience.

The week in Vancouver after the conference, I traveled alone but a big part of me missed the company. Solo trips have become second nature to me, something I once thrived on. But for the first time, something felt… different.

Then came Banff. A place I had dreamed of visiting – crystal blue lakes, towering mountains, the kind of scenery that makes your heart race. And yet, as I stood there, taking it all in, one thought echoed in my mind:

This is spectacular. But it would be even greater if I was sharing this with someone.

Netherlands (February, 2025)

What about now?

After years of chasing new experiences, I’ve realized that the best trips aren’t the ones where I check the most destinations off a list, but the ones where I feel grounded, connected, and open to whatever comes my way.

That’s where these three lessons come in:

The Art of Reframing

Nothing is Good or Bad, It Just Is

Perspective, perspective, perspective. Zoom out and realize that nothing is inherently good or bad, it it all just life. Embrace it.

The Illusion of Arrival

Chasing “Good” Won’t Save You

Lower your expectations, create stability and leave room for life to surprise you.

Stability might not be the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about travel, but for me, it’s everything. Having one place to call home for an extended period gives me the space to reset, recharge, and actually enjoy where I am instead of constantly chasing the next destination or “good” achievement off my list.

The Beauty of Letting Go

We Travel Better Together

This one is huge. Letting go of rigid expectations and allowing things to unfold naturally has changed the way I see travel. I don’t want to use it as an escape – I want it to enhance the happiness I already have.

I’ve learned that experiences mean more when they’re shared. Whether it’s traveling with people I love or making an effort to meet new friends along the way, connection matters. Solo travel is great, but loneliness? Not so much.

Each country has added its brushstrokes – some bold, some subtle – but all part of the same painting.

Maybe stability, companionship, and embracing the unknown aren’t about avoiding bad experiences – but about being fully present for whatever unfolds, without chasing or resisting. So as I step into this next adventure, I’m carrying these lessons with me. And so, from this couch in Alkmaar – next to Charcoal, who is, by the way, completely indifferent to all my existential realizations – I’m setting out again. Not to chase, not to escape, but to experience. To add yet another stroke in the picture.

And that? That feels like enough.